Monday 20 August 2012

Reading a bad book

...is similar to self mutilation.

Ever since I've gotten my kindle (still the best gift ever until somebody gets me a brand new BMW), I've been downloading free ebooks off Amazon.

But man, there are truly a number of crappy writers out there!

Last Saturday was a beautiful day which I unwittingly spent on a book I shall summarise as 'sh*t'. Why, I hear you ask, did I even finish it when it makes my eyes water with embarrassment for the author with each paragraph written?

Because I always expect some kind of twist towards the epilogue which will eventually make me sigh with content and think, "Well, that was not bad at all."

However, with this book, as I reached the very last word, I stared at the page and uttered "That's just plain sh*t."

What gives me the right to judge this book which may be a matter of personal opinion? It is because I myself have written a similar story filled with fanciful wishes and unrealistic romance. The kind of selfish thinking only a tween/teenager can conjure. Even then I was conscious enough to know my story was crap.

Storyline: A girl who thinks she's plain boring (but is actually really hot) gains magic powers one day. Having discovered her new-found power of farting butterflies when she giggles, she falls in love in a 6 foot plus hunk with abs (in high school might I add) who (surprisingly! 'eye roll') falls in love with her. Not very coincidently, her bestest best friend in the whole wide world also gains super powers so they can now read each others minds! Her best friend falls in love with the hunk's best friend and the couples make out in front of each other for half the book. Here's the twist, the hunk is actually a vampire who is very rich and can afford to buy her new clothes! The girls succeeded to make the whole school jealous which satisfies their inner bitches whilst being portrayed as the 'good guys' throughout the whole story. The end.

You may now puke blood.

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