Recently, I saw a wall post describing a facebooker's faecal consistency...And that was the last straw! I had to get this issue out of my system. Therefore, I present to you my...
LIST OF FACEBOOK POSTS THAT WEIRDS ME OUT
1) Of course, the one which describes daily faecal consistency
"Hm...Tis slightly runny and yellowish today. May I have your medical opinion, fellow facebookers?"
2) Description of nasal mucus and phlegm resulting from a cold which includes the colour and viscosity...urgh
"Aiya, why so green and sticky de! Oh no, it's all over my hand!! Aiyo, I accidentally ate some!!!"
3) Revelation of most recent disease despite the need to keep it secret to prevent nauseating the public. e.g. diarrhea, act of emesis, phlegm producing coughs
"I've got explosive diarrhoea! Help me...><"
No, my ex-facebook friend, I'd rather not.
4) The need to tell the world that one is suffering from minor ailments. E.g. runny nose, sore throat, a simple cold...However, have yet to seen one about athlete's foot or genital thrush. Have they still got a little bit of shame in them to reveal that? Will be waiting for that post.
"Oh my, I have a slight fever of 0.2 degrees. Somebody, quick! Leave me comments dripping with pity!"
5) Posting the same camwhored pictures of oneself. A few is absolutely fine. But after the millionth one, I suppose it's safe to say you're not very imaginative. You know the one.
6)The one when a greeting (e.g. birthday) is directed towards a person who is NOT a facebook user.
"To my beloved great great grandmother (who probably won't even know this greeting existed), Happy Birthday and I love you!"
The world of facebook has liberated our minds (and mouths) to announce every little detail in our lives. If facebook was brought to real life, it'll probably go something like this...
You're sitting in the middle of class. You felt an itch in your nose. You blow your nose onto a piece of tissue and hold it at arms length to observe. Without hesitation, you shout "Hey guys! My snots slimy with a tinge of green. What should I do?" And then you sit back down and wait for your various pals to inject you with a dose of sympathy.
Ah...I feel better now.
Please take note. Yours truly is not trying to offend anyone in particular. My sincere apologies to those who believe this post is purposefully aimed at someone such as yourself. And also my deepest sympathy.